April 19, 2010

Got home this evening, Jessi and I, to get ready to start our week away from Garrett and mommy. I could feel the tension build in me yesterday as I knew I would have to drive away today. Garrett cried when we left. That was no fun. The longing he feels for "normalcy" is pretty strong right now. He misses his own bed, his friends, his animals......his "normal" life. Last night was tough on him as he anticipated the separation. He just wants to come home. He will. It will just take some time.

He had a nice call from his cousin Levi last night and that helped him quite a bit. He's been hurting for Levi, who is fighting stage 4 cancer right now. I talked with my brother-in-law tonight and the both of us can hardly believe that Kathy and her sister both have boys fighting for life right now. Levi's 21 and a real big brother image to Garrett. Garrett knows how sick Levi is also, and he hates not being able to see him. We pray fervently for Levi every day.

Over the weekend Garrett got a visit from some very kind folks with the Western Wishes Foundation. He was given a hawk feather for his hat (Garrett's always worn a feather in honor of Lane Frost) but this feather came with a story. Travis (who gave the feather) told Garrett the hawk and eagle feathers are very special to the native Indian tribes and stand for strength with each feather indicating God in our lives and each part of the feather all of the people and events, and how they are all connected through God. It was a very cool experience for him.

After a day off at the hospital yesterday, we were back there this morning. There were no surprises, which is good. We know that his liver, heart and kidneys all are not up to par, but have not gotten any worse. The fluid in his lungs has dissipated and Garrett is feeling better. He did have a reaction to the infusion medications today in the form of a rash. It looked like a bunch of chiggers had a hay day on the boy. He just has to take it easy for a while and will continue to get better with each day.

I spoke with Garrett on the phone tonight before he went to bed and he's missing me and Jessi pretty bad. But I gave him some chores to do while we're away. He needs to watch every baseball game, especially Rockies games. That won't be hard to do because he's such a Rockies fan. We had so much fun watching the no-hitter together the other night. What a piece of history to witness. Life shares a lot of similarities with baseball. The best pitcher in the world can't throw a no-hitter by himself. It takes dedication, preparation, commitment, pain and the support of many team mates to make it happen. As a very kind man and former big-league pitcher told me, "you can't worry about tomorrow's game. You have to take today, one pitch at a time". So true. We're in the early innings and Garrett's already thrown a strike.

Jessi finally fell asleep next to me. She is so tender hearted. I hate that she has to worry so much about her big brother. I would so gratefully take all of their pain and carry it if I could. I pray every day that I won't fail them or God. I told Jessi we'll run the horses in and try to get them legged up while we're here so she can start rodeoing this summer again. That brought her spirits up. She'd rather be horseback than anything else. The ponies are great therapy. She can keep Garrett's horse tuned up, too for when he can ride again.

This split family situation will take some getting used to, I can already see that. I already don't like it. I have so much respect and admiration for the troops who have to leave their families for a year at a time. The deserve all the prayers we can send them, and their families here at home.

Better sign off for now. We've said our prayers in hopes we'll land on our feet in the morning and bring glory to God through our journey. Garrett's biopsy surgery is now scheduled for later in May. That procedure will tell us a lot. Until then, it's a waiting game interrupted by bi-weekly hospital visits, blood tests and check-ups. Our tough little cowboy has yet to ask "why me". His is my teacher. I'm so grateful for the blessings and gifts I've been given and certainly don't deserve.

Be blessed this week. Every day is a victory, and victory awaits the warrior.

JD