April 26, 2010

At Garrett's check up today the transplant team marveled at his ability to bounce back so strongly from such devastating sickness only a few days ago. His heart is getting better every day, there's no fluid in his lungs and for the first time in two weeks, his liver is no longer distended. What I thought was still some rash on his body, was in fact bruises. They told us that his rash was so severe the other day that it actually burst some capillaries under the skin and left little blotches where the rash had been. They look like little light colored leopard spots.

He's gained back the weight he'd lost and is getting more energy by the day. Last night when we went to bed he started a "tickle fight" with me. That little booger was relentless. It was great! When Jessi and I left today to come home for a few days, it was tough as always to leave Garrett and Kathy, but I wasn't as scared this time. I think keeping him from doing too much over the next week will be the most difficult task. He's starting to have nightmares again, but I kind of expected that. I'm really watching Jessi, too. She keeps things inside and two years ago got ulcers from worrying so much. Today she she complained about tummy pain again. I hope and pray it passes. Seeing Garrett getting better should help a bunch. She's seen an awful lot of scary stuff with her brother, plus two cousins who have cancer.

I got to thinking tonight about the past 10 years or so, and the incredible journey I've been blessed with because of Garrett's illness. I'd like to think that I would have been this in-tune to the every day beauty of my family had we not traveled this trail. I'd like to think that I would thirst this much for my Lord or tried this hard to be an honorable man, but I'll never know that.

What I do know is that every day is a victory and can't be wasted. I've been blessed with wonderful memories like closing my eyes and trying to memorise every smell, sound, touch, feel and emotion when Garrett was only 6 months old just in case I didn't have that chance again. Or the feeling of tremendous responsibility combined with fear, joy and un-matched love when Jessi would curl up on my lap, tuck her head under my chin and fall asleep. I crave the sound of Kathy's laugh and the softness of her gentle hands in mine. I've stayed awake for hours just to watch them sleeping peacefully and relish those moments when they aren't afraid of anything. I've been given the gift of being knocked down to my knees, because it gives me time to talk to God while I'm there. It's pretty awesome to have been given so much in my life. I've been given back both of my children when medical science indicated that shouldn't happen. I've witnessed them grow as children while they find miracles in nature and prefer animals to a t.v. I've seen new colors brought to my life because of them, just like so many other "daddys", but because my nerve endings have been peeled raw so many times, I also feel the little joys more easily. I don't deserve a single gift, but I'm so grateful for every blessing.

I learned today of another little 5 year old boy who has a sick heart and might need a similar treatment. It just drives it home that our story is not unique. There are so many kids and families out there who need prayers and support. I'm just incredibly thankful that God blessed my family with so many around us who care.

Our prayers tonight are for little Andrew, and for all of those who pray for us.

God bless,

JD