May 11, 2010

Jessi and I are back tonight and as luck would have it, we forgot her "binky" in Denver. In years past this would have been a tragic event requiring a full-blown tactical call out, however she is maturing and was able to settle in tonight next to daddy with just a stuffed cow.

Garrett continues to have good days and we feel so very blessed to see him happy. Kathy and I even think this little distraction has changed his personality a bit. He is less crabby with little inconveniences and seems to take things with a much more "water of a duck's back" kind of response. I'm so proud of him. He just doesn't go through life with his lip stuck out feeling sorry for himself.

The biggest daily bump right now is sleep, or lack-there-of. The last few nights I've had to wake Garrett to stop his nightmares. He's really having a lot of them again and they always have to do with the hospital. They’ll get more intense the closer to the biopsy we get. I know they don't hurt him physically, but it breaks my heart to watch and listen as he goes through terrible dreams, calling out, crying and kicking the covers off. Little kids should be dreaming about playing baseball and other such fun things. He had just gotten to where he was starting to go to sleep easily and rest peacefully. I hope and pray we can overcome this again.

After spending the best part of the morning with Kathy going over a new crop of hospital bills and trying to figure out how to rig a lottery win or sell my body to science :-), we settled in and spent a few more hours together, just the family, before Jessi and I had to leave again. I know it’s not that big of a deal because lots of families have to spend time apart. But this family is mine and I think they’ve had their share of uneasy separations.

Driving home tonight, Jessi fell fast asleep in the back seat of the pickup and I got to praying and thinking, as I often do on these trips, about the past 10+ years. Just for giggles, I put pencil to paper in my head and figure we’ve driven more than 72,000 miles back and forth. How blessed are we that we’ve never had a wreck? Oh, in that first year or so when I was driving to and from work and our little apartment in Denver every night, I woke up in the ditch a time or two, but my guardian angels always kept the rubber on the asphalt. We’ve been faced with, and beaten, all the odds time and time again. My little tribe of warriors are pretty daggone hardy and God continues to smile on us every mile of the journey.

As Jessi and I said our prayers tonight, I remembered what Jesus told us in Matthew…”Whenever two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them”. As parents, we’re called to lead our children to holiness and the only way to do that, to sanctify this mission as I see it, is to keep Christ in our daily walk together. I’m grateful that He has allowed me to walk this trail with my family, with Him keeping us safe and knocking the edge off of our fears. I honestly don’t know how anyone can take on these challenges without Him.

JD