April 28, 2010

The good news is that Garrett has another great day. He misses home terribly, but physically he is feeling better than he has in a while. God continues to touch him gently.

On the other hand, I just got done pontificating how you just have to stay in the fight and there isn't time to feel sorry for yourself. Remember that one? How about riding that bucking horse one jump at a time? Well today I spurred over his neck pretty bad. Unfortunately, I crashed in front of some folks I respect and who depend on me to be strong. The pain and frustration reached a boiling point and I failed to take the pot off the fire.

Before I go on too far, I spent the rest of the day in some type of prayer, asking Jesus to pick me back up and reaching out to some good men to help bring my petition to the Father. I received one response from an incredible man who snapped a knot in my butt and told me to drop it! He reminded me that it's ok to be human and to move on. He is right, and I will do my best to do just that. I can't protect my family if I'm swimming in quicksand.

Fear is a strange creature. It is nurtured by the enemy and fed by our inadequacies. I disguises itself to those who think they're immune to it. Apprehension can be a good thing. Fear with fatigue can be deadly. So I guess this is for those who think we don't fall apart. We do. I did, and I hate what happened. But I will take the advise of a man who has been there, literally, and give my attention and concerns back to my Lord God who alone can calm the storm.

I love my God and my family with everything that is me. My goal is to stay strong for them, and I can do that only if Christ is my strength and I let Him have complete control.

God bless,

JD