Happy Mother's Day 2014

Thursday night after Garrett finally fell asleep; I just sat in his room and stared out the window.  It made me think of all the hours we’ve spent looking down at the world from these windows through the years.  We’ve seen every season, every storm formation, every snow fall type, every rain phase, hail of all shapes and sizes, dead calm and tornado winds, 100 degree days and 20 below.  A few years ago, we watched a Canada goose pair raise a brood from a nest on top of an entry roof.  These windows have shared this incredible journey as it grew from a seed so many years ago.  Funny how I never noticed it before, but I do now.

Streptococcus pneumonia is the term they used to describe what Garrett has right now.  It likely developed from a virus he picked up and it morphed into pneumonia.  He and Jessi have complained that a lot of kids are coming to school sick lately.  I wish parents weren’t so selfish and would keep their kids home when they’re sick.  Most can fight back when the germs are flying around.  Garrett’s body doesn’t have that luxury like others.

While this is a bacterial disease and should respond to antibiotics, it’s a very aggressive form and dangerous to imneo-supressed kids especially and could potentially damage Garrett's heart.  The doctors have said it isn’t in a sepsis state, though he does have infection in this blood.  His white count more than doubled and he’s on three very specific IV antibiotics to help him fight this.  If all goes well, in a best-case scenario, Garrett might be able to come home within a few weeks with a PIC line and we’ll change his IV’s at home.  We’ve done it before and he heals so much better in his own bed.

The past few days have been a whirlwind, at least it seemed like it.  It started with Kathy trying to get in touch with me in the middle of the night while I was on a man hunt for a guy who shot at a rancher out east.  Within hours, we were in an ambulance headed to Denver.   At times the hours have drug on like watching paint dry, but for the most part, it’s a speed-read through needles and IV’s, procedures, x-rays ultra-sounds, suction tubes, alarms, nurses, doctors and coughing fits that bring him to tears because of the pain it causes.  They had to replace his IV tonight because the other one quit working and now the new one is giving us problems already.  It seems inevitable that they most likely will have to put a PIC line in tomorrow.  Surgical procedure #45 is just around the corner.

Garrett was able to get some sleep Thursday night, finally.  I know this because I watched him sleeping.  I watched him in slumber land and secretly wished I hadn’t missed that exit because I wanted to join him there.  Just wasn’t meant to be for the time being.  But I was glad he was finally there.  It’d been many hours of pain for him before he could get a temporary reprieve.  At nearly 15 years old and 135 pounds, he’s hardly the little baby warrior I used to write about, but when he’s hurting and scared, as life becomes uncertain during these all too frequent critical hospital stays, he is still my little boy and he needs daddy to hold him.  We just don’t fit on the hospital bed together like we once did.

About 1am tonight Garrett woke up in pain.  He’s hurting pretty bad but doesn’t want anything stronger than Tylenol.  He’d been having a nightmare earlier and it broke my heart.  I was really hoping the nightmares wouldn’t come back this time.  As he woke in tears, he said “daddy, I just want to go home.”  There’s a lot of this journey that hasn’t seemed fair, but I’ve always told him that victory awaits the prepared warrior and Christ promised us that the road to Paradise would be tough here on earth.  He’s always warrior’d up; cowboy’d up and put on his game face.  He gives his heart to God when he’s awake and tries to fight the best he can, but sleep is the one escape from the pain and fear that he could always look forward to.  When the enemy follows him into that place of peace that truly isn’t fair.  I guarantee, though, that our Littlest Cowboy Warrior (who’s not so little anymore) will bring his best into the fight tomorrow.

As I’m looking out the window again right now, watching another spring storm roll in, I’m lost in silent prayer for this chapter to pass quickly and get him back on the ball field.  He so wanted one year without hospitals interrupting his baseball season.  When more test results come back, what a great Mother’s Day gift it would be to get them with great news. 

God bless you all and thank you for your continued prayers and support. 

JD