2012 Update

Wow!  It's been a while since I've updated Garrett's Journey.  We've had such a blessed year, albeit with some challenges.  Garrett has had a tremendous year, is growing like a weed and turning into such a fine young Christian man.  I could not be more proud of him.

We have now crossed quite a mile stone, as it's been more than 12 months since we've had to spend the night in a hospital!! Darren's heart continues to beat strongly, proving that our God is GREAT!

Garrett, Jessi and I got to share some "field" time during Spring Turkey season, and it provided more memories to cherish.  "Dinger" will have quite a story to tell his grand kids some day about the time when a bear decided he wanted our blind.  It was pretty exciting for about 20 minutes as the ol' boar  stalked and "whoofed" at us from only 10 feet away!  I convinced him to go away...temporarily.

As the "Boys of Summer" came about, Dinger was ready.  True to form, Garrett took the field in baseball again, being chosen in the top 10 during tryouts.  While the team didn't win too many games, a few of the boys really shined.  Garrett was noticed by a AAA club who recruited him to play travel ball this fall.  It was a tough decision, but Garrett decided to try and play AllStars here so he could finish the season with his buddies.  He had a really good tryout and was again chosen in the top of the AllStar athletes.  While he wasn't as happy with his hitting this year, his on-base percentage was still very high and his fielding shined!  What really honed this year was Garrett's pitching.  Although his momma isn't too high on him pitching, he's really got a gift and it really showed in the first game of the AllStar tournament.  Garrett was asked to start on the mound and he delivered!  He pitched the entire game, not needing to be sub'd.  That saved the other pitchers for the rest of the tournament.  I'm including a picture of him pitching during that game, in a downpour (no; the picture's not out of focus.  It was just raining that hard)

The tale of the stats were that Garrett pitched 7 innings in a winning effort.  He averaged just a little over 12 pitches per inning and had great control of his curve ball.  I won't let him throw a traditional curve, but it's a "football" curve that does not put the normal pressure on a growing elbow.  Throwing upwards of 64 mph with his fastball, Garrett led the team to it's opening victory.

The rest of the year has been extremely busy as we sold our place.  It's not what we'd wanted to do, but in an effort to try and get control of out of control medical expenses and help my mom's expenses in her retirement community, it was what was needed.  We're starting over again....sure is a little spooky.  But, we hope and pray for a chance to one day again own our own place with some acres for horses and kids to play, and know God will lead us.  We love this place, but the super blessing is that our place was purchased by our Parish, so from now until far into the future, this land that has been so loved by us, will now be used to Glorify our Father and his Son.  Jessi put it best; she said, "daddy, you always said this place was a gift from God.  Now it's a gift to God."  How wonderful is her assessment of our blessings and it really put things into perspective.  My children continue to teach me.  She too, has stayed busy trying to rodeo when she can and really wanting to find a replacement for her aging barrel horse.  Again, we're asking God to help us make that happen.

The luxury of spending evenings at home ended in May when I transferred back to patrol.  The "trenches" have grown more dangerous and ugly, and my kids are old enough to see and understand the news.  They're not happy about daddy being out there, but catching bad guys is a good thing and leading honorable men and women is a responsibility and blessing.  I just wish  I could be home to help them with their homework.

A recent call I took at work has shaken my core and also driven home the many blessings bestowed upon me.  After 28 years of seeing man's inhumanity to man, this scene startled my soul.  It happens once in a while.  A beautiful young lady of 10 years and mature beyond what is right, was introduced to me through a horrific event she and her sibling had to endure.  The essence of innocence and unbelievable emotional pain hung in the air. But I see Christ in her eyes and know God brought them into my life to help me remember how truly blessed I am to have a whole family who deeply love one another, and that even in our challenges, we still need to reach out to help others who have less.  That is one of the remarkable honors of my job...the chance to help those who are truly in need, and working with some amazingly professional and caring folks.

I cannot go into it any further, but please pray for her family.  They have seen things they'll never be able to un-see, heard what they cannot un-hear and experienced life changing drama that is burned into their memory.  Wounds do not need to be seen, to know they are severe and deeply in need of intercession.   They have a long road ahead, but the obvious determination in their hearts will be fueled by God's love and a strong external family support system.  I will never forget her, or her very tender broken heart.

Don't forget to hug your kids every day and let them know you love them.  Let me tell you, I could not wait to get home and love on my family like I never have before.  And if you get the chance to show God's kindness to another child who just needs to know that there are adults who won't hurt them, do that too.

God bless you all.  More to follow.......promise.

JD

Merry Christmas 2011

As we prepare our hearts and our homes to welcome the Christ child, we think of you all and the blessings your friendships and prayers bring to us.

God bless you and Merry Christmas!

Been A While - November 15, 2011

Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything and I have no excuses, other than selfishness. By writing on this blog, I'm forced to deal with some memories that aren't all that fun. However, too many folks wonder how our little Warrior is doing and use this site as a reference. So, here we go!

Garrett has had a really good summer. He got to play baseball for the first time in the last three seasons, without having to quit early. The full season was really good for him and he excelled better than I expected. "Dinger" started every game and even made it to the All Stars, where he had one of the best tournaments of any kid on the team. You sure couldn't tell this boy ever had an issue.

As the summer wound down, Garrett got really excited for "middle school". I've never seen him that happy to go to school, but he really felt a sense of pride that he was getting through elementary and on to the big leagues! It really bothered him that he had to stay back a year because of his illness the past few years.

His excitement has dwindled some since then, because he's found out it's really just school again, but also because his immune system has been so compromised that he's catching every bug that comes down the pipe. He's missed a lot of school already this year and that bothers all of us. I just do not want him to have to be held back again. It would hurt too much. Fortunately, he has some really caring teachers and they are willing to work with us to help him catch up. Add to that the fact that a recent graduate of the Air Force Academy, a 2nd Lt., is willing to tutor Garrett for free! I just found out today. We are charging toward victory here, as well!

Since Garrett turned 12 this summer, he is old enough to hunt big game with daddy now. Through a friend-of-a-friend, Garrett was invited on an antelope hunt in Wyoming, on a ranch where only kids who've endured serious illnesses and wounded veterans can hunt. When we went in September, Garrett had the place to himself that day and harvested the buck of a lifetime! It was a very, very special day for us. The meat has been great and the trophy on his wall will bring back memories for many years to come. Just look at the smile in the picture. It says it all.

As we head into winter now, our sights are getting set on next spring when Garrett will have to endure yet another biopsy surgery. It will be the "big one" again, but we really need to know how his heart is doing. His general health has been all over the map this fall and it's been pretty frustrating. On the bright side, his nightmares have diminished considerably. It's heart breaking when that little guy is afraid to go to sleep. For now, though, we're going to set our feet for the long haul and prepare to sing "happy birthday" to our Lord next month. If Garrett can bring up his grades, 'Santa' has a nice little surprise coming.

I hope all of you remain as blessed as we are, and thank you for all the prayers. We don't know what tomorrow brings, we can't do anything about yesterday, so we'll prepare the best we can and make each new day the victory that it is.

God bless you,

JD

Happy Easter!

I could not think of a better time for another update than on Easter. Exactly 11 years ago tomorrow, we came home after Garrett’s first transplant. Diagnosed in utero with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, we waited 9 months for a heart….7 of those months after he was born. He lasted, at the time, longer than any child on record. He refused to quit then, and he refuses to quit today.

Since my last update in February, we attended the American Heart Association Heart Ball in Colorado Springs. It was the second year in a row that they’ve used Garrett’s story to help raise awareness and money for research. In 2011, they raised $25,000 more than the year before, in an economy worse than a year ago. The blessings continue to reign as we continue to hope that Garrett’s story will help other children and families.

Garrett was given a gift of a turkey hunt in Kansas by some really cool men who own a local company. The trip was incredible. It was shared with Warren and Hal, the brother and daddy of Darren, the boy who gave Garrett his heart in 2008. Watching these two boys grow in their relationship and enjoy the brother they both need, makes a lot of the tears, fears and heartache seem worthwhile. Garrett didn’t get his turkey, but he’s hoping for retribution next month as he repeats his last year’s hunt with our friend, Marv.

It was during the hunt last year that Garrett became sick and was almost taken from us within a week. A biopsy scheduled in May will hopefully tell us that he’s completely clear of any issues and we can relax a little more. Incredibly, just a few days before the Kansas trip last weekend, Garrett began complaining of chest and left arm pain. We took him in to the local hospital and within an hour they had him hooked up to an IV and put Flight for Life on standby. They were very concerned and thought Garrett was having little heart attacks again. Understandably, we were scared out of our wits. Garrett was petrified and at one point started pulling the monitor wires from his chest and crying that he was “out of here”. He said “daddy, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to go through this again!” I hurt for him and his momma and sister, and I’ve got to admit that some of the memories keep me looking over my shoulder, too. Sometimes it’s difficult to focus on anything, and becomes an unpleasant distraction. His anxiety is still fairly high at times and the nightmares come and go, but I know that good news on May 3rd will help all of us a ton. It will be a pretty big day as they plan to biopsy the heart and enter both sides of the heart and coronary arteries. A long and trying ordeal to be sure, but necessary.

In the mean time, Garrett’s playing baseball again. He started out pretty scared, because two out of the last three years he’s gotten sick during baseball season. It has nothing to do with baseball, but it’s hard not to think about the connection. But he finally moved past that fear and is having a great year. He went 3 for 3 at the plate the other night and 4 for 4 in the field. He’s back!

11 years ago tomorrow, the day after we celebrate the reason for our faith, God let us come home. In the time since, we’ve traveled many roads, shared a cacophony of emotions and seemingly crawled the journey through some of the bumpy times. But Christ’s promises keep us grounded and give us strength to carry the fight another day.

Life is good, so greet each day with a smile.

God bless you,

JD

Feb. 4, 2011

It's hard to believe that we’re approaching 3 years since Garrett's last transplant and have witnessed the many changes and challenges for our little warrior. If I spend too much time thinking back on them, it’s bring tears of joy along with memories of terror.

Flashback: In February of 2008, Garrett began complaining of chest and arm pains. So his doctor in Colorado Springs decided to run an enzyme blood test and determined that he was having little heart attacks. At the Children’s Hospital in Denver they performed an emergency catheter procedure that scared Garrett to a near panic. I remember him telling me “daddy, I don’t want to die”. I will never, ever forget that day, and I never want to experience it again. A doctor who had known Garrett since he was born told us that Garrett had advanced coronary artery disease, and was dying.

We all know what happened next. Garrett was blessed within a couple of days with a beautiful, healthy heart from a beautiful, healthy boy who left us much too soon. Darren’s family has become our own, and they were by our side throughout Garrett's severe rejection episode last year, and Darren’s momma was with Kathy when Garrett was close to going home. These two ladies share a kindred relationship that most mothers will never know. She and her husband will join us in a few days for a very special event.

This year the American Heart Association will celebrate an annual event known as the Heart Ball. The purpose for this charitable event is to promote funding research, education programs and policies designed to help our Nation’s children live longer, stronger, healthier lives. Each year about 36,000 babies are born with some type of heart defect.

In Colorado Springs the Heart Ball will be held at the Broadmoor Hotel. For the second consecutive year, the AMA has asked that we share Garrett's journey in an effort to raise awareness. They will play Garrett's video that they made in late 2009 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV4GZCuE0TQ ), which evidently helped the Denver event’s success 2010. We have agreed to their request, honored that our story of continued victory may help another child or family somewhere. We really hope that doctors in Colorado will be able to use the money and eventually find a cure for this terrible disease.

During the years of fighting this battle, I have to admit that there have been times when I became very nostalgic and was missing the innocence of my own childhood. I recall being not much younger than Garrett or Jessi and feigning sleep so my dad would carry me to bed. I felt so comforted, so protected in his arms. His thick, calloused hands and his soft kiss on my forehead after he put me in bed. Now it's my turn to do this for my own children and do what I can to keep my own family from harm.

There are so many bad things that daddies can't prevent. But we sure can vote with our actions and by sharing this incredible journey, I hope to capture these moments for future generations and maybe spark the one thought or dollar that eventually helps stop children's hearts from getting sick.

God bless you all.

JD

Jan. 6, 2011 - Goodbye Levi. We Love You.

It’s been quite a while now since we’ve made an update to Garrett’s Journey, but it sure hasn’t been because there’s no news. We just wanted to wait until we had good news to share. Although clouded some by heartache, we grateful for our blessings.

Since the last update, we were able to all gather as a family and celebrate the birth of our Lord. Levi, although very sick, shared in this blessed event. Garrett and Jessi were so happy to be able to be with him. Garrett and Levi have fought together for so long and their bond is unbreakable. They’ve continued to fight with and for each other, praying daily for each others’ healing.

On Monday this week, Garrett underwent several blood tests to see if the PRA rejection numbers have come down at all. We were to hear something late today. As a quick flashback, in June shortly after his first rounds of chemo and plasmapheresis, the PRA numbers were around 90. We need to see them around 20. By September, although the cellular mediated rejection was perfect, the PRA remained at 89. This disturbed and confused us, but we’ve tried to stay positive and full of hope. With more hospitalizations looming after the New Year, we prayed for healing; for Garrett and Levi.

We were with Levi this morning as he was getting weaker. I brought him a kiss from Garrett, and a message; “tell Levi I love him, and ‘Cowboy Up’”. At mid day, God called Levi Home. He was in the arms of those who love him when he smiled and went away. An hour later, earlier than expected, we received a call from the hospital. Garrett’s PRA numbers are down 25 points to 64! We are finally seeing the positive movement we’ve been hoping to see. I’ll let you decide if Levi had something to do with that. I just know there is no such thing as coincidence. In the previous six months, they’d moved only 2 points.

While our hearts are broken to lose Levi from this world, we’re so grateful to have shared in his tremendous journey and being able to love him. We're better because of him. Now, he no longer has to fight and hurt in this world. He is in Paradise and in the arms of our Lord Jesus and Noah, who left us last June. I won’t presume to know God’s design, but must believe in His will and perfect plan. We don't know why we had to lose Levi and Noah in just 6 months. More questions than answers.

But today God called one home and gave another more strength to continue His mission. As we prayed tonight, missing our Levi, we thanked God for the beautiful day, for giving Levi peace and much needed rest and asked Him to help us honor Levi’s warrior spirit by putting on His armor every day.

Incredibly, in the midst of their own heartache and grief, Levi’s parents rejoiced with us and praised God for Garrett’s marked improvement. They are two remarkable, loving and humble servants.

The message I hear today was loud and clear. "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" As death tried to take the moment, we were given reason to praise our Lord for Garrett's sake. Levi is no longer in pain, and Garrett is clearly getting better.

May His peace find you all. May His love comfort those who morn. And may Hope always overcome.

God bless,

JD

November 21, 2010

Up kinda late tonight because Garrett woke up crying a while ago after a bad nightmare. So since I was up, it seemed lik a good time to drop a quick note about his progress lately. He’s having pretty severe nightmares again and gets pretty scared about his heart. We’re trying different things to help ease his concerns, but it’ll take a little time.

The really good news though, is that Garrett doesn’t have to go back for any treatments until after the holidays. The doctors feel confident that the PRA situation will not get significantly worse in that time frame and because he’s had such a tough year on a number of fronts, they’re giving him a little more time. I’m truly grateful for their decision, albeit a little nervous to wait longer. I really didn’t want him to have to spend Christmas in the hospital.

We’ve let him go back to school, which has been truly good for his mental health, but he’s pretty susceptible to every little cold that comes around. He’s already fought several this season and is in the middle of a cold as I write this. That part scares the heck out of us. He needs to stay healthy. The school folks have been really good about letting us know when other kids are sick, and we just keep him home and “home school” him for a few days. But you can’t see all of ‘em coming.

Having the holidays coming up will be good for all of us. Garrett’s cousin is really, really sick with his cancer fight and after losing Noah this summer, we all need to be here and together during this Christmas season.

We’re continually blessed and thankful that God has kept Garrett from getting sick like he had been. The fight is still on, but we’re still winning. We absolutely will just keep putting on the Armor of God every day and placing the right priorities where they belong; every day is a victory and each sunrise brings opportunities for happiness and the glorification of God’s great mercy.

Hope your Thanksgiving is a wonderful one. Each day is really Thanksgiving, but we can only eat that much once or twice a year. Otherwise we’d all swell up like blowfish!

Walk with Him. If you get too tired, He’ll carry you the rest of the way.

JD