March 22, 2008

March 22, 2008

The past few days have been eventful. Garrett has been feeling better, and pushed himself a little too hard. He was playing outside when he tripped and fell on his chest. This caused us a great deal of concern, and scared Garrett quite a bit. He cried for quite a while because it hurt so bad. They had split him stem to stern and it’s far from healed. He was lucky though, because he was carrying his large stuffed tiger he calls “Darren”, and instead of hitting the concrete, he landed on Darren. That sure dampened the impact and nothing was moved or displaced. Thank God!

We had quite a few visitors on Saturday, and while it was great to see everyone, it plum wore him out. Darren’s mother got to listen to Garrett’s heart today. It brought tears of joy mixed with sorrow, but it was a beautiful moment. He has kind of a big day scheduled tomorrow too, being Easter, with visits, Mass (in the room) and an egg hunt later. It’s so much fun to see him laughing and playing. He won’t act like a kid who just got a heart transplant. We have to rein him in and help him keep a balance so he won’t get into problems and end up back in the hospital. That’s a good problem to have.

We’ve made it three weeks now, and on the anniversary of the reason we believe. While it seems I’ve ridden this trail in another time, there are stark differences becoming apparent to me. I don’t know if it is maturity or lack there of, but something in my character has been deeply marked this time through.

I, like a lot of men, have spent many years trying to find what great thing I was supposed to do. Like Garrett, I lived for baseball in my early years. Since then I rode many horses and had nearly as many shed me like rain. I have been in many engagements throughout my career, caught many bandits and helped catch many more. From my current vantage point, it appears likely that I will never reach the pinnacle of professional rodeo, catch a major league game, lead a daring raid such as the Texas 7 or catch a nationally known serial killer. I’m not smart enough to secure the nation’s peace or be eloquent enough to calm civil disobedience to the point where they are buying each other beers after the rally. While there are always possibilities that exist, I know as I reach the waning years of my career, those opportunities become more and more a tale to be told later in life by a younger, more invigorated warrior.

What I have come to realize is that I have tried to learn from the best, to show the way with principle centered leadership, to nod my head for 1st each time, and to treat my horses with the caring and respect a good animal deserves. I’ve learned to treat each man with the dignity he deserves, and to act tactically and decisively upon those who must be removed. I have learned to lead from the front, guide with an iron fist and velvet glove, to see each person in my charge as an individual with families, dreams, fears and goals of their own. Most importantly, I have stood tall and straight in a sea of blue while a flag draped coffin rolled by….and from the lessons of those fallen heroes, I have learned to truly respect and love the people and very God given right that I stand to defend, and I proudly represent the very system that stands to take that same freedom away from those who endanger it for others. But any man who shows a divine spark in his eyes, be him civilian, bandit or warrior, deserves reasonable opportunities to show his Maker that he can live for others and not himself.

What is quite clear to me, is that there are none in our midst who more openly present this fine quality more freely than a child. Unabashed, clean and pure. The essence of innocence and the model of unconditionally loyalty and love. Now as the world shares in awe, the majesty of new birth and freedom found only through the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I am reminded of St. Mark’s words in Chapter 10. Here he quoted our Lord, who said “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.”

In this current journey of ours, a child made an unselfish decision two years ago. Three weeks ago, he honored his promise as another child, Garrett, received the gift of new life.

I will continue to pursue bad bandits, good horses and pick-up ball games, but my priorities are now clear. I will do what I can to ensure these little ones have a world to grow up in that is not dirtied by what we have done. “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were put around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.”

Whatever future role I will play as a leader in my field for the next untold years, none will carry a greater responsibility than the one I will play as “daddy”, and I promise you all here that I will not cease to follow them in my heart, as I lead them from in front. I am hoping that being good at one will help me become better at the other. Victory in either case is the only option.

Wishing you all a very happy and most blessed Easter!

JD