May 2, 2010

I spoke with my mom Saturday afternoon and after asking how Garrett was doing, and the rest of the family, she mentioned how much she looks forward to reading these updates. It was a gentle reminder to make time and jot something down this weekend. Sometimes I forget how many folks use this forum to stay in "contact" with Garrett and his situation. It's been a great piece of therapy for me, to write and use this as a diary of sorts to later maybe be gleaned for a larger project someday. I need to remember that mom and many others use this as sometimes their only way to keep from wondering how our little warrior is handling the journey.

To be honest, I've spent the past 24 hours back with my family in tact and being quite selfish with my time. When Jessi and I arrived yesterday evening, Garrett met us at the door with tears in his eyes and held on to use for a long time. Then they went through a bunch of hand-made cards from Garrett's classmates. Friday was "Cowboy Up Day" in honor of Garrett at his school. All the kids and teachers dolled up in their best cowboy renditions just for him. Garrett and Jessi later spent 3 hours having fun with a whoopee cushion and "getting" everyone in the house, at least once.

It's tough dealing with the separation. Normally, these weekends in April and May would find me helping friends working calves. But this isn't a normal year. The brandings will just have to happen without me this year. There's no place I'd rather be than right here. Maybe Jessi and I can sneak off to one of them. She needs a special day, too, and there's nothing she loves more than helping work the baby calves.

It's now about 1:30 am, and I can't make myself go to sleep. Garrett has long ago fallen asleep next to me on our mattress on the floor in the basement here, but I just want to lay here and watch him. I smile every time "Sir kicks alot" stretches out and whacks me in the shins or hollers out in his sleep for someone to throw the ball harder. The little "annoyances" that once aggravated me when he just "had to" sleep with me, tonight bring me a tremendous sense of joy. Not long ago, this moment was uncertain.

Before he faded off, he asked me to check his vitals again. He's more attentive to his body now than ever and wants to know. His blood pressure is good, but his pulse rate has steadily increased a little in the past few days. Not enough to be overly concerned, but enough to raise my eyebrow. He was in the high 90's a week ago, and in the 120's tonight. I'm glad we have another check up on Monday. It could also be the excitement of having us all together again, seeing Levi last night (those two fighters really help each other stay strong) and/or a visit from one of his very best pards today. We also played catch for quite a while this afternoon. We were enjoying this new found freedom so much that we over did it a little. He got to feeling a little fatigued after, so tomorrow we'll take it easy. But that's what he needs to do. He needs to test his body a little at a time, listen to it and respond accordingly. We have to remind ourselves that this is a marathon, not a sprint. He can still throw the ball though! He stung my had a couple times pretty good pitching this afternoon. We took our break to watch the Kentucky Derby. Kathy picked the winner.

Garrett's doing really well overall. His face is puffy right now, but most likely from the steroid treatment he's on. He finishes it this weekend and should lose his new "baby cheeks" shortly. He just jokes about it and says he's starting to look like one of the chipmunks.

Kathy and I reflected tonight on our 10 years of marriage. How our "honeymoon" was interrupted by my fathers death, then we learned we were pregnant with Garrett and he was sick. Between he and I and Jessi, we've spent way too much time in hospitals in the last 10 years but that's just the way it is. It makes times like right now so much sweeter. His little terrier is asleep on the mattress next to him, his foot is on my leg...........and life is Good!

Tomorrow Jessi and I will sneak out and go visit my dad's grave early in the morning, go to church and relish the last part of our weekend together as a family. It seems like there's always a head wind driving back south. I guess the ol' pickup doesn't want to go back without them either.

I'll drop another note after Monday's check up. Kathy's anticipation is rising as we're now just a little over 3 weeks away from the biopsy. That's when we'll get a lot of answers to lingering questions. We just have to enjoy every minute of these times, one day at a time, and pray for the news we want so much.

In Him,

JD