June 9, 2010 - New Day, New Chance To Learn

Garrett’s 11th birthday was a blessed celebration! There was no doubt that we’d see this day, we just honestly didn’t know if it would be from a hospital bed. God gave to his momma and me the greater gift by allowing us to share this victorious day with a boy who was happy just to be at a ballpark. The game was great, the weather perfect and the moment now etched into our hearts forever. We arrived at the park in time for batting practice and stayed until the last pitch. There are more battles that lay ahead, but for now, life is good. And that’s good enough.

Today brought back a taste of reality. Being a cowboy kid, Garrett gets to learn about life differently than kids in town. Today was another example, as lost his ol' mare. He doesn’t know about it yet, and I’m going to wait to tell him. He doesn’t need another disappointment right now and this one will hurt. Only a few weeks back he’d cried missing home and whimpered about wanting to see his horse again. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to make that happen soon enough. She was a good ol’ mare and gave him lots of joy for the time God allowed us to have her. His momma and I will decide when to let him know. We just didn't see how knowing right now would help him heal. He's had enough kicks in the gut for a while.

Almost exactly two years ago, the mare developed a large tumor in her sinus. (See June 23, 2008) For reasons only known to our Creator, she sloughed the tumor and got better. A chance in a “billion” according to the vet. This time it wasn’t to be the same outcome. The tumor came back with a vengeance and she couldn’t breathe anymore. It came on fast and I’m grateful she didn’t have to suffer much. When Garrett comes home, he’ll find her buried next to the other kids’ horses in the pasture under the old cottonwood tree west of the house. Once again, good friends stepped up on a moment’s notice to help out. So many of you have been incredibly kind to us. Your compassion does not go unnoticed by us, and certainly not by God who said He “will render to every man according to his works.” Yours are great and deeply appreciated.

The situation gave the opportunity to discuss “Heaven” with Jessi as we try to understand it, and knowing that we cannot possibly know what God has in store for those folks who keep His word. Even the bible is very specific when it speaks of God’s private plans. “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him” [1 Cor. 2:9] In the face of a rough day I'm just awed by the timing of our Lord, allowing me to use this life lesson to teach and learn more about Him.

Jessi got to visit the grave tonight and say her goodbye. She took it hard because she loved the ol' girl, too, but also because she knows how hard it will be on Garrett. She placed some flowers on the mound, flowers that once again our wonderful neighbor picked up just for the occasion. It was sad, but being a cowkid herself and having been through this before, Jessi understands that we don’t own the animals in our world. They are made for us to care for, love and respect, and are just on loan from God for whatever time He determines. We knelt and said a prayer thanking God for the joy this old horse brought to our family and especially to Garrett. A smile came to Jessi’s face later when I explained that she will be a tremendous help to me because now I need to find Garrett another horse and I need her to try them all out until we find just the perfect one. (If anybody knows of a good solid, bomb-proof kids' horse, preferably one that's had a job and seen lots of cows and arenas, I've got a professionally trained heading horse I'm willing to trade straight across)

I wanted to share this story because I thought it really puts into perspective what is truly important in our lives. After an evening of complete fun and being able to forget (almost) what is going on inside Garrett’s body the loss of a beloved kid’s horse is sad, but every time we have to say goodbye to one, we are grateful for being blessed with many good horses over the years.

Although it was a tough start to the day, I can’t help but rejoice in the excitement we shared last night. It was a nice interruption to the daily battle. We keep working toward that day when Garrett will come home, and praying that God will allow that gift soon. Garrett has yet another in-house infusion in about a week or two, then more waiting and hoping the regimen will do its magic and make him well before the biopsy.

As I close tonight, I want to share another quick story I heard today that also really defines the “cowboy up” attitude. A 14 year nephew of a friend of mine had quite the wreck earlier this week and is gratful to be walking. He was riding a colt Monday afternoon when the horse flipped over on him, tearing his scrotum in half with the saddle horn. He suffered the traumatic removal of one testicle.

He was flight for life’d to Children's Hospital where he underwent emergency surgery. The doctors were able to re-attach the very important item and sewed him back together. After 24 hours he went back home, clearly upset when the doctors told him he couldn't rodeo for at least a month. "Cowboy Up" is just what it means. These tough cowkids don't have time to feel sorry for themselves. They just want back in the game.

Have a great week. You’re in our prayers.

JD